Do you ever have those days where you’re stressed out beyond belief and are just 100% done with everything? For a while, I was having those days every single day. I mean for like 4 months straight. I’m a strong Type A personality and am also pretty driven and ambitious. This is actually a really good thing, but it comes with a lot of anxiety, to the point that sometimes it really is almost crippling. Anyone else just need to go to bed at 8PM on Friday night? I hold myself to far higher standards than I do anyone in my life which means I’m also pretty hard on myself when things don’t happen the way I want them. I’ve been pretty open about the things I’m trying to do differently this year including letting go of things I can’t change, head here for a refresher. I’ve been trying to work on letting go of these things, which a lot of the time is other people. Why can’t everyone just listen to me? I’m always right, obviously.
I happened upon this notebook recently and thought it was cute, but also hey super cute saying on the front. Then I read ban.do’s story behind this journal. We don’t always get a pep talk or a simple good job for doing what we do everyday. As much as I try to do everything on my own, sometimes it would be nice to have someone to remind me to take it easy because I’m doing my best. In late November I kind of threw myself into work and creating more content for the blog and that’s been my focus for 18 hours a day for 7 months. When you’re working so hard for something you want so badly, you don’t always take time to step back and see the forest for the trees. I’ve felt frustration with myself for not always having enough time to get new content up or for not being early on a project at work. Both of which in the grand scheme are not remotely life-altering.
I bought this notebook about two months ago when I was feeling really overwhelmed and it was exactly what I needed. I write down every single thing in a to-do list, I have tons of lists in my journal. Not everything gets crossed off every day, but as long as at the end of the day I can say I did my best then who cares. There are also things in life that no matter how badly you want them or how hard you work for them, you’re not going to get them. And that’s ok. That means there’s something bigger and better out there, you just have to remember that even if you don’t get it, as long as you did your best then you got this.
I don’t always get this personal on the blog, but I actually got an e-mail from a reader a couple of weeks ago. It said “I just wanted to tell you I love reading your blog and have been following along for a while. I don’t know how you do the blog and work full time I would be so stressed out.” First, wholeheartedly thank you to my readers because without you and messages like this, then I don’t know why I would do this. Second, full disclosure I don’t know how I do this and work full time either. I’ve only recently gotten to a point where I feel like I finally have free time to hang out with friends and to start dating again. I love what I do in both my career and for the blog so it’s absolutely worth the time and the energy and sacrificing a personal life to make this happen. I wanted to be a little more transparent that this doesn’t all just happen. As much as it may appear in my photos that I have everything together, I’m just trying to make it all work like everyone else. At the end of the day I’m just doing my best and that’s good enough for me. Anyone else joining the #IDidMyBest girl gang?
xo – Tracy